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South Beach Diet vs. Communion

My beautiful wife, Rebecca, is starting her second week of the South Beach diet. I am very proud of her for her perseverence and faithfulness to it. But, on this Sunday, she had to break from the diet at communion time in our worship service.

You see, the South Beach diet is very strict in the first two weeks to eliminate all carbs from the dieter's menu while stocking up on lean meats and vegetables. Fruits are even considered no-nos for the first stage dieter. After two weeks, the dieter can begin to reintroduce some carbs. Some carbs, however, are considered no-nos even in the later stages of the diet. Matzah (forgive the spelling) is one such no-no.

This means that communion in our church is completely contrary to the healthy lifestyle of the South Beach diet. Our church uses matzah for the bread, the body of Christ, and grape juice (I'm sure with sugar added) for the blood of Christ.

Yet, Rebecca chose to partake in her Lord. A week down the drain because she felt a need to honor Christ. Now, if Rebecca were Catholic, then there would be no problem because the bread would have actually turned into the body of Christ when it entered her own, thus meat. And the grape juice would have actually turned into blood, a protein-rich liquid. This is due to the transubstantiation doctrine. But, alas, she is not Catholic, but instead protestant.

Oh well. I'm proud of her for trying so hard on the diet, and I'm proud that she chose Christ over carbs. But I submit that churches should look for a way to solve this problem.

God Wants Our Hearts, Not Our Dignity

As he returned home, David's wife saw him dancing in the street in nothing but a smile. Upon rebuke, David responded, "It was before the Lord, who chose me...I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes." David's wife had no children to the day of her death.

Yes! This is the response we should have. Our God is worthy of everything we have to give him. He demands it. Yet, like Michal, we get wrapped up in ourselves, for fear of looking like an idiot.

If, like me, you are a member of the Church of Christ, this message is not what we would like to hear. How can we reconcile orderly worship that we find pleasing to God in I Corinthians with the above passage about David? God doesn't change. He's the same God of David as he was the God of Paul.

The answer is not really a difficult one. Avoid dancing naked in the streets nowadays as that is considered illegal and punishable by jail or fine or both. But, DO give every ounce of your heart to God every minute of every day in worship. Raising hands is no longer a no-no for me. Clapping is perfectly acceptable. Kneeling is admirable. Running through the aisles with a tamborine is not for me, but so long as it is not a distraction from the otherwise orderly worship, I fail to see it as misguided.

In my church though, running with tamborines would be a distraction. So how can we be David in a church that's Paul? Again, I think the answer is in where the heart is. Are you giving 100% of your voice to God? Are you acknowledging his greatness with 100% of your being? The answer is probably "no." I've yet to ever be that way. Too often, I'm thinking about how off the pew-force is. Or maybe, I'm thinking about how fun the bass line is to sing. Or more simply, maybe I'm just too tired to concentrate fully.

But, we need to be able to answer our detractors, "I am celebrating the Lord right now. And I will continue to celebrate the Lord until I collapse of exhaustion. I look like an idiot, I feel like an idiot, but you haven't seen anything yet."

Disclaimer: There is a point where you can truly turn unbelievers off by the seriously cooky things you do. I would never feel that I have served my mission to go out into all the world making disciples of all the nations if I led someone away from Him despite my good, personal intentions. Church is still a community and society rules do apply.

So what will change? I will try to be more open to the emotional aspect of worship. I've got the orderly part down. This post is hopefully helpful to others, but if not, then at least one person's life has a new perspective because of it.

No Good Deed Ever Goes Unpunished

I think about a person a whole lot. I see him as kind of my poster-boy for husbandom. His name is Uzzah. The story goes that the Ark of the Covenant was being transported back to Jerusalem with King David. At "the threshing floor of Nacon, Uzzah reached out and took hold of the ark of God, because the oxen stumbled." (2 Sam. 6:6) God's wrath burned within him and struck Uzzah dead beside the ark. At Uzzah's death, David was angry with God and refused to take the Ark with him to Jerusalem for three months.

I probably don't have to explain why I chose the title or why I think this is a good lesson in marriage. But I certainly don't want to be taken as one suggesting that God was wrong for what he did.

Here's a poor fellow, politely walking along the ark, in a triumphant, celebratory procession. At a spot in the path, the cart teeters. This guy reaches out to stabilize the greatest possession--nay, God's resting place-- in all of ancient Israel and dies for his troubles.

Like Uzzah, I often do things for my wife with great intentions in mind, but get my hand bitten off for it. Rebecca, as you read this, let your anger subside until the end. Wives and God have something in common. Their ways are higher than our ways. Their thoughts are higher than our thoughts. We sometimes doubt that fact, but seriously, have we ever been able to understand them? It is we men that cannot comprehend.

All sexism aside, Uzzah really had to die. It wasn't for his intentions that he died. According to 2 Samuel, he died for his irreverent act. God is so Holy that his laws and decrees must be followed. God is so powerful that a teetering cart would not cause God to stumble.

The lesson here is two-fold. Let God's holiness guide our actions, and be slow to act upon reflex as Uzzah did. God's ways are higher than our own. We are to allow God to stabilize the world. That is not our job. Secondly, men, remember that your wife is worthy of great respect. Do something good for the right reasons, but in the wrong manner, expect and welcome a learning opportunity on how better to do it next time.

"What, me worry?"

I saw a recent story that Hillary Clinton compared W to Mad Magazine's Alfred E. Neumann. She started off her speech, blaming tax cuts for todays sagging, terrible, absolutely abysmal economy.

I guess Hillary has been absent from this country for a while, probably on some MoveOn.org sponsored trip to communist Cuba or something. She apparently missed the new employment numbers. About 150,000 new jobs created last quarter, dropping the unemployment rate to 5.0%. Her own lackey, Bill never managed to sustain an average unemployment rate below 5.4%.

What I'm getting at is that there is no limit to how far the left wants this country to fall. The more this country hurts economically, the more we are attacked, the more troops die in Iraq, the better their chances of getting back into power. I thank my lucky stars that I am not in the Democratic caucus when news comes in that another chopper was shot down. I do believe the cheers and high-fives would sicken me.

It's quite one thing to be happy when an opponent does something stupid to hurt his chances of getting into office (sex in the Oral Office...Oval Office, I mean). Be happy, cheer that his destruction could help your cause. It is quite another thing to hinge your hopes on a devastating day for America.

For well over five years, the left has tried to paint W as a simpleton, a liar, and a puppet. Each day he proves them wrong. Here's the rub. It didn't work for his first 4 years in office. The majority of Americans saw through the empty rhetoric of the leftists. Yet, the same tired tactics are being used in preparation for the congressional elections of '06 and the biggie in '08.

The left has to hope for doom and gloom so that they can institute their Brave New World. But America is a nation of hope and promise. That is a terrible position to find yourself in.

Demon Possessed Sheep Take Action

I found this story on the Drudge Report today, and thought it was very reminiscent of a particular Bible story. Enjoy! It's pretty funny.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/07/08/AR2005070800553_pf.html

London Bombings

My heart sank yesterday when I learned of the London bombings by al Qaeda. My prayers go out to the good people of England. However, I hope that if any good can come from this (and I am positive that there is), that the Britons will come together to realize exactly what kind of enemy the western world faces. Tony Blair has long been a lone voice in a sea of appeasement makers. His voice has been saying very loudly that civilized society cannot tolerate terrorism. Blair almost lost his prime minister position over his support of our efforts.

The attack on London was not just an attack on England. It was an attack on all of western society. Despite our great efforts over the last four years, Al Qaeda is still active. Sure, we've broken them, we've disabled them, but they live on like the cockroaches they are. But al Qaeda will not go away until every civilized country takes the stand that the U.S. has taken and what I believe the Brits will take.

Countries like Spain and France, those that back down to adversity are what fuel these monsters. Attacks will continue so long as they work. When the bad guys have new demands, they will try another attack. It is for this reason that we DO NOT negotiate with terrorists.

England, I love you, and pray for you. Do what your leader has been saying for so long now...prevail over the evil that seeks to destroy you.

I Want to be a Crazy Armadillo

In the previous post, I discussed the big points of my camping trip during the 4th of July weekend. Well, this post is about something more specific.

As we were all having dinner the first night of the trip, an armadillo decided to come into our campsite. This was cool for a moment because I thought that armadillos were born dead, but here was one 4 feet away from me moving on its own. But then I remembered that Armadillos are said to be carriers of leprosy. I don't particularly like the idea of contracting that disease, so we tried to scare it away on numerous occasions, but each time it kept coming back from the thicket and into our campsite.

We flashed the flashlights at it, we yelled, and we even got our dogs to bark at it from close range. Oliver, with his 1.2 tons of body mass was scared of it when close to it, but ferocious from a distance. Joan of Barc, with her 20 pounds was scared of it, but really wanted to get close to it. But yet it kept coming back.

Finally, Donnie took a walking cane and beat the armadillo on the back. We didn't see the armadillo again, but we could hear him and he eventually made it through our site while we were in our tents.

I'm writing about this because we could learn something from this armadillo. As Christians, we have a set path before us. Some would call this the straight and narrow, but regardless, we are called to live a righteous life, leading to the cross. Like the armadillo, we have faced and will face many people, places, objects, and obstacles who seek to deter us from completing our mission. It might be easy to go to the right 40 yards to find another campsite where there are no leprosy fearing campers and cross there, but that may not be the path chosen for us.

We might have to instead bide our time and wait for the forces of obstruction to fall asleep or otherwise turn their gaze upon something else. But the point is, we have to continue the journey regardless and we have to do it on the path chosen.

Furthermore, as Christians walking this path, we will meet people who want and will cane us. Persecution is real. I think that it is imperative that we stay true to the course.

In the real life armadillo situation, I am not condemning Donnie for trying to scare off the armadillo...after all, leprosy is considered unclean. And, I know that the armadillo wasn't out to prove a spiritual point and that he was just dumb and couldn't figure out a better way to do things. However, I admire that shelled creature. He was armed and shielded to do battle, and in the end, though he took a beating, he still completed his journey.

I wonder if Joanie touched the 'dillo and if she might be carrying...oh, I need a bath.

Braum's Saved My Life

My wonderful wife, Rebecca, and I went camping this past 4th of July weekend with another couple from our church small group. Let me tell you what. I had a terrible attitude almost the whole time.

Rebecca and I got there early, say around 4:30 on Saturday afternoon. By 4:35, I was drenched with sweat, tired, hungry, and pretty much miserable. While Becca's over there at the camp table whistling Dixie - or maybe it was the Battle Hymn of the Republic. That's pretty much how it went on for the rest of the afternoon. However, at about 8:15, the McBrides show up and by then the weather has cooled down, the shadows have lengthened, and I'm still drenched with sweat, tired, hungry, and pretty much miserable.

We do the traditional camping thing--eat, clean, play cards, etc. And by about 11:30, the weather has cooled down enough for us to enter our tents. But Rebecca and I had an inflatable mattress with one sheet on it and another sheet to use if we got cold. We didn't use that other sheet either night for very long.

The next morning, I got up around 8:00 (not bad for a camping trip) and we had a great breakfast by April McBride. But, by 8:15 a.m. I was already drenched with sweat, tired, hungry, and pretty much miserable. The rest of the trip went pretty much like that.

Only, there were some good things. At some point on Sunday, we decided that it was too hot to stick around at the campsite (or website as I accidentally called it once on the trip). So we decided to take a drive in the air-conditioned car. We took our dogs (Joan of Barc - age 2, weight 20 lbs.; and Oliver - age 7, weight 1.2 tons) because they were tired of being in the heat too. In Hillsboro, we stopped at the Braum's for some ice cream, drinks, and A/C. I think we stayed there for 2 hours'ish'. But while we were in there, the dogs stayed in the car and continued to get really hot. Oliver decided to drool and then bark at people, making a real droolish mess in and on the outside of the car.

Braum's saved my life. Without Braum's, I would have died of heat exhaustion. April (who's carrying twins) also really appreciated the respite. The Braum's experiment changed everyone's demeanor, most notably mine.

You see, I look back on the weekend now, and I think about how absolutely wretched I behaved. Yes, I was rightfully miserable, but everyone else was at least trying to have a good attitude about it. I was never shy about how miserable I was, and it really brought the mood down.

I was fortunate to be in God's nature, having a time of fellowship with friends, but I failed to see that while I was there. Oh, and Donnie, if you should ever read this, you should really seek professional help for wanting to go hiking in that weather.

I'm not much of a camper to begin with, but it's a blessing to get to do that periodically with people you love. I'm also glad to say that Joan of Barc, our dog, is not much of a camper either. She didn't have a very good time getting near the lake.

Rebecca, I'm sorry for my attitude.

Moral of the Story: When you are feeling drenched with sweat, tired, hungry, and pretty much miserable, go to Braum's and stay there for about 2 hours. I got the banana split, and that seemed to really help.